Retirement Reception Disaster Updated

Updated:  I am changing this because I realize that he probably didn't mean to be insensitive, I just wasn't expecting anything like this and wasn't prepared for it.  I expected something different and I might have read more into it than he intended.

After 33 years of teaching I made the decision to retire this year.  I have many medical reasons for leaving a career that I love, but the leukemia has made it too hard to giving so much of my energy to teaching.  It was a difficult choice to make but I really need to concentrate on getting better.

The retirement reception was on May 24.  I want to thank all of those who came.  I totally understand if people couldn't make it because it was at 3:45 to make it more convenient for teachers to come.

There were seven of us being honored, quite a few for our school.  I was a little disappointed that there were only name badges and not corsages for the retirees.  I know that times are hard and money is tight, but really.  The retirement gift I got was a lovely memory box with my initials, but I would have preferred the pocket knife that the assistant principal got only because it was engraved with "Once a Sandie, always a Sandie." I really appreciated that the culinary arts students were able to make my favorite cupcakes--German chocolate.  Delicious.  I talked to some very wonderful people who came.

The choir sang at the reception because the choir teacher is retiring.  They are always so good.  Then the principal called us all up to the front of the room.  I was expecting him to say something nice about each of us, how we're going to be missed and thanks for the memories.  Then each of us were to say something.  I was busy trying to come up with something not stupid to say.

When it came to my turn the principal made a bad, hurtful jab about how I made money for Lowes.

I was so shocked.  33 years of service and that is what he thinks of my career.  He managed to say nice things about some of the others. Some he said nothing at all.   He went on and on about his buddy the assistant principal who is retiring.

I was devastated.  I cried for three days.  When my students asked me how the reception was I teared up.

The only retirement reception I will ever get and he ruined it for me. Nothing will ever be able to sponge away the hurt and humiliation.  No apology will ever be enough.

My family asked me, "Doesn't he even know you."  I had to tell them he never even bothered to know me.  I told him in August that I had cancer.  Not once has he or his administrative staff ever made an effort to talk to me about my battle with the disease or offered any help.

Well, Mr. Principal, my career may be a bad joke to you but it wasn't to me or the many students I've had over the years that I taught.

Mr. Principal did you know what wonderful students I have this year?  They were so understanding on the days when the chemo was giving me really bad side effects.  Their compassion outweighs your apathy in so many ways.

Mr. Principal did you bother to know that this year 100% of my students who took the science TAKS test passed.   They worked really hard to prepare for the test and kicked it's mass.  (I try not to cuss.)

Mr. Principal did you ever know that I worked for NASA to write curriculum for the GRACE satellite?  I was invited to the Phoenix Mars rover launch in Florida?  I presented workshops at many local, state and national conventions.

Did you know that for nine years I have had night tutorials every week?  Not just for my students, but any that needed help.

Mr. Principal you may think that I am just a bad joke but my coworkers and students, both past and present don't think I was a joke.

I have a large box with wonderful notes from students how they love me and how much I have changed their lives.  I am greeted by my ex-students where ever I go.  Many of the past students still come to see me.  I am loved and I make a difference.

I am so much more than your hurtful statement, so much more.  And if you had bothered to know me you would know how much I dedicated to educating young people not just about science but also about life.

If any of my students, past or present, read this blog I would love to hear from you and what you are doing now.

So to finish I always end my blogs (as I start every class) with the---

Question of the Day--

What are your best memories about your job?

I Hate Being Sick

I've been fighting a cold for several days.  It makes me fuzzy headed and tired, but especially intolerant of people who are inconsiderate or in my terms pig-headed.  

I loved the line in Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl  when she declared that she believed that people were basically good.  I do too and that everyone has the ability to learn.  But lately I seem to be seeing only stupidity and thoughtlessness of "well meaning" people.  Can't these people remember "Matthew 7:4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?"  Why can't they keep their opinions to themselves.

I also find it interesting to watch people's responses when they find out I have leukemia.  Most say they will pray for me.  I appreciate that the most because it is the most powerful thing anyone can do.  Some are just silent, unsure what to say.  Some are really concerned and ask for details and the worst is the people who just change the subject as soon as possible.  

Well enough of my venting.  I hope everyone is healthy and happy.

Question of the day:

If you were going to be remembered for what you say would you change the way you talk now?

Do I Dare to Dream a Different Dream?

     For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to teach.  I would make my younger brothers and sisters be part of my "classroom" and make worksheets for them.  If they didn't want to play then dolls and stuffed animals made up the student population.  I have been teaching science for 32 years.
     Today I took the first steps toward retirement.  Come June and I will put this chapter of my life away.  What I have depended on for finance and self-defining will be gone. Bittersweet memories flood my mind.  Who am I without my job telling me?
     I have no idea.
     The cancer has made me feel like I need to do something else, before I run out of time.  So time to dream.  I started making a bucket list and decided I didn't like the phrase "bucket list."  So I'm just going to call them dreams.  So I want to dream big and often.  Categories are important so I don't get bogged down in one area.
    So top dreams in travel for right now:

Spend the night in a Scottish castle, preferably haunted.


Visit the Biltmore Mansion

Go to Disney World in December for their Christmas celebration

Tour Castles in Ireland, Scotland, England,  and all of Europe.

Rent a cabin in the mountains for a week.

Question of the Day:

What is your dream for a place to travel?

When it Rains it Pours. . . Or Why I've Not Been Blogging

     The end of July was a very scary time for me. On a Monday I went for my yearly check up the the GI doctor and everything went fine, had blood work done and left.  The next morning the doctor called and told me that I was seriously sick and needed to go straight to the emergency room.  I argued that I felt fine, just a little tired and that he had me mixed up with someone else.  He told me that my white blood cell count was 4 times normal, the same as someone suffering from severe pneumonia.  I spent the rest of the day in the emergency room waiting to get in.  Near five o'clock finally get sent back and am rushed through various test.  They tell me that they can't find anything that they can deal with and send me home with instructions to see my regular doctor.

     Wednesday morning and I'm being put through all types of test hoping for some sign of infection.  Nothing was found and he made an appointment with an hematologist/oncologist.  Friday I see the new doctor and have more blood test done.  He tells me that he has a suspension of what I had but wasn't making a diagnosis until a DNA test came back and that takes a week.

     A week of nail biting anxiety, fear of dying of cancer like my mother did.  I finally go in for the news and it  is confirmed that I have  Chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML).  This doctor told me that this was the least scary of the cancers now because it can be controlled with a pill.  Before 1999 he would have given me less than a year to live with no treatment possible.  The medicine is $7000 a month and the insurance it picking up most of it.  After one month on the medication the white blood cell count was back to normal levels.

     On a side note, earlier in July during an eye exam that doctor found bleeding spots in my eyes which he assumed were from my diabetes.  A follow up in September showed that those spots had completely healed.

      So I have been contemplating my mortality and feeling like time is running out for all my dreams.  But I'll write about that later.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/treatment/CML/Patient/page1

Question of the day:

What dream do you want to do before you die?

Bittersweet--My Grandparent's Furniture

First the bitter.  The decision was made to liquidate my grandparents house.  Grandpa died several years ago and Grandma is in a nursing home.  She is 103 and still going strong.  She goes to physical therapy twice a day and still has a very remarkable memory.  The bitter part is that she will never return to her home because it is not the best place for her and she feels very safe and comfortable there.

The sweet.  I was fortunate enough to acquire their bedroom set and dining table.  I wanted the furniture because I couldn't bear the thought of someone outside the family getting it, or having the pieces altered or split up.  The furniture is well made of oak and veneered in tiger wood and another very pretty wood that I don't know the name of yet.  I cleaned and polished everything and the luster is gorgeous. 

Yesterday my son and his friend moved the furniture into my house and then endured my wishes and rearranged the bedroom twice before I was happy.  Finally everything was in place. 

The only thing wrong with the bedroom set was the nightstand.  It was missing the pull and the medallion that was there.  This morning my husband pulled the drawer out looking for a manufacture's mark to see if we could trace somewhere to get a replacement for the medallion.  I noticed some of Grandpa's handkerchiefs.  In the middle of them was the missing pieces of the handle.  I'm taking this as a sign from Grandpa that he is okay with me having the furniture.

Blessings to all.

Question of the Day:

If you could have anything from your grandparent's house what would you want?

Have a great adventure today.

I went to see the movie Brave today.  I love a movie with a strong female.  It is about time that Disney and Pixar put out a lovely film where the girl can be in charge of her own fate. 

I've always thought that women are strong.  We don't need men, we sometimes chose them.  We don't have to have a man to be complete unless we chose to need them.  I still believe in marriage when it is right for both people.  But, women are not the weaker sex.  It is time for the double standards to die and be buried under all the other bull out there. 

Question of the day:

In our society today who has it easier, men or women?

I went to a family reunion last weekend.  It is always great to see all the relatives.  I always look around and am amazed at how the little ones have grown.  To quote a song from "Fiddler on the Roof" I don't remember getting older, when did they.  Now all the babies have babies.  Did the rules change when I wasn't looking?  When did I move to the older group?  I'm not sure I want to be considered one of the older ones.

At the reunion I took three of the teenage boys and we went geocaching.  The first two were a bust and the last one I heard lots of bees so we left.  My daughter introduced me to geocaching when we were in Las Cruces.  It has been too hot here to do much so I am looking forward to seeking more when the weather cools.

Question of the day:

If you could be any age you choose what age would it be?

Comments on my first blog question:

I'm not sure I believe in ghost since I have had no encounter with one, but I'm keeping an open mind.  So, my answer to the question would be yes I'd stay in a haunted house alone if it was safe to do so. 

Keep asking questions.